As I sit here and type this, I want to rush into Eva and Rose's room to console...but I can't. I want to scoop them up and smother them with kisses and hugs and tell them I'm sorry...but I won't. I look at the time, Eva has now been crying and calling my name for nearly 25 minutes. She is our sensitive one, the one I most worry about. Rose gave up 15 minutes ago. Daddy finally went in to see if he could calm Eva down, but only after I told him I would not go in the room.
At nearly 3 and a half, the girls have begun to really test their boundaries. This is what I have read about, heard about, been warned about. I knew it was coming. I knew there was no way for us to avoid it. I knew it was going to test our patience and our reserve.
This evening, it was dinner time. Rose decided Mashed potatoes were much better mashed all over her hands and herself. She defiantly proclaimed she wasn't going to eat. Eva, while not joining in the Potato party, decided she was just going to be defiant and sass us...again. Were it not for the fact that these behaviours had been escalating in frequency and intensity over the past two weeks, I would have ignored it and deflected. Problem is, deflection hasn't been working, so they got until I finished washing dishes to eat. The nibbled, they drank their milk, they tried every trick in the book, and then they got a very rude awakening.
At this point, Daddy was too frustrated so he retired to the bedroom lest he lose his shit. I would have done the same thing. So, after doing the dishes, the girls got a VERY quick tubby...no playtime. They got washed, hair washed, rubbed down with moisturizer, dressed, and sent off to bed, 45 minutes early, no TV, no cuddle time...probably a little hungry. Once they realized what was happening, their mini string of meltdowns through dinner turned into a full-fledged WW3 Meltdown. I did warn them, multiple times. I gave them every opportunity to avoid the nuclear option.
At this point, Daddy was too frustrated so he retired to the bedroom lest he lose his shit. I would have done the same thing. So, after doing the dishes, the girls got a VERY quick tubby...no playtime. They got washed, hair washed, rubbed down with moisturizer, dressed, and sent off to bed, 45 minutes early, no TV, no cuddle time...probably a little hungry. Once they realized what was happening, their mini string of meltdowns through dinner turned into a full-fledged WW3 Meltdown. I did warn them, multiple times. I gave them every opportunity to avoid the nuclear option.
I am comforted in the fact that many parents have gone before us. Many parents have had to deal with the same situations, some better than others, many probably better than me and Daddy. The outcomes vary depending on the perseverance and commitment o the parent(s) to stick to their guns. I made a promise to myself early on that I would not be one of those parents that do not discipline their child and teach their children discipline. At the same time, as Daddy's said to me once he had calmed Eva down, it's a phase that we have to ride out and she and her sister will move past it.
I had meant my next post to be a Summer recap, I shall do that after this post. I post this as a means of catharsis for myself. I also post so that when are girls are older, and with any luck, have little ones of their own pushing all their buttons, I can share this. I will say "See...you were the same way, so buck-up buttercup, it's a phase. And no, we will not take them until after the phase has passed, your pain is our retribution."
This is the ugly side of parenting...but don't worry newbies...it's a phase.
This is the ugly side of parenting...but don't worry newbies...it's a phase.
I love you Eva and Rose,
Baba
7 comments:
Baba, your girls love you too. And they will recover and feel safer for knowing rules are real and can be counted upon.
It is hard work being a good parent and it is wonderful that you tell the truth about this.
Your daughters will be wonderful women when grown ... and their daddies will have helped by being there for the joys as well as the sad times of reality.
Joy to you all and I look forward so much to hearing about your glorious summer.
Old Ca Grandmother
Oh yes, The terrible two's run right into 3! I too have some of these moments, not so much Daddy as he doesn't let too much slide. Being the softy parent has it's tribulations. You are NOT alone. ;)
Stick to your guns! They have to understand that you say what you mean and vice versa. It's heartbreaking to hear your children cry but they need to understand their boundaries. You are doing great...stay strong
You guys sound like such great parents and that you balance each other out as a team to meet all of the girl's needs. Glad that you could stick to your guns, even with those charming little faces.
It's just a phase, one Toby is entering into ... crap! I thought they were over "the phase" by 3 1/2. Last night Mr T woke up at 1am and demanded "choklat"! When he didn't get it he turned on a big screaming fit and called "Daaaa, Da Da, Da Da" ... already playing us off against each other.
Hang in there xxx Meg
LOL. I remember this phase. It goes quicker if you only give in every once in awhile (vs always.) ;-)
A while back on some parenting blog, a parent was going on about what his/her child had done and said ¨Alas, this, too, shall pass¨ and that the day would come when they would look back, nostalgically!, on these messes and fingerprints!
Yesterday our dear 2 yr. old silently rubbed soft cheese on our living room windows while I was reading a book on the couch. Gosh! That silence should have made me suspicious, but I was immersed in my book!
¨Alas, this, too, shall pass¨. It was a bugger to get the cheese off the windows! KFB from BCN
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