Deer Caught in the Headlights

Today we went on a trip. We weren't sure we were gonna make the trip on account of Rose's little episode with a high fever. Not too mention, Eva joined in that night and decided to throw up on me...funny how before kids I would have completely freaked out about that. We think it might have been food poisoning from something they ate. Needless to say, Thursday night was a challenging night. The girls have bounced back, but we have been on watch. I digress.

So we went on a trip to Providence. We were invited to a pre-gay pride BBQ at an old friend and his husband's place. This was a good test for a roadtrip as it takes a little over an hour to get to their house. Eva was excited as they have 4 dogs and a puppy and we told her Friday we might go to a place so she can play with a puppy. Rose...eh...whatever. But Eva..."puppy? puppy? puppy?"

Now this is the first "gay" outing we have had since we've had kids. Heck, even before that, we were very domesticated and don't have many gay friends as we rarely go out. We were looking forward to the trip, but also a bit unsure. Gay male couples having kids is still an oddity in the queer world.

So kids packed up, Tinkerbell loaded in the DVD player, snacks ready...we were off! Eva conkled out, no surprise, she didn't go down for her nap. Rose happily watched Tinkerbell until about 10 minutes to our destination...she was getting ansy. All-in-all, no real drama on the trip, which was good. We got caught in a HUGE sudden downpour that slowed traffic to a crawl, but that was it. We arrived in good time.

It was a beautiful day in Providence. We parked, unloaded kids, and made our way to the house. We walked 2 houses down the street, up the driveway to the backyard, unlatched the gate, and walked in with two little ones in tow. Heads turned to see the new arrivals, and then WHAM! Caught in the headlights! I could have gone up to a couple of them and poked them with my finger...they would have fallen over. This crowd thought we were obviously at the wrong party.

20+ gay men definitely slanted towards the "bear" crowd looked at us surprised and perplexed. Thankfully our friend Marc was front and center cooking on the grill. So, I marched up to him and greeted him as I usually do..."hey fag." So then, the perplexed looks turned to Marc, who could care less. Marc and Mike and I have been friends as longs as Mike and I have been together. We used to party in our very younger years and had quite a bit of fun back then.

As the shock wore off, the girls got to meet the doggies...which were a bit too exuberant for them. But the Golden Retriever Puppy was just their speed. Eventually, we made it into the house as it was getting too crowded and warm for us and the girls. Here they charmed the lesbians, but were more interested in all the toys...even if they were doggie toys. This post will be followed up by photos of Rose crawling in the puppies doggie cage...she quite liked it in there.

Eventually, we had to leave as it was getting close to bedtime and we knew we had an hour trip back. We bid our farewells to our hosts, who were surprised we were leaving so soon (those who have no kids always give the same reaction) and made our way home. Once safely packed up, Tinkerbell turned back on, and rubber moving along nicely, Mike and I sighed. We're officially not hip anymore. When we left, the crowd had grown, to 30+ people. Aside from the two sole lesbians, our hosts, and two additional guests, not one person their engaged us in conversation.

Normally children, especially young ones, break the ice. Here, we were marked as outcasts, oddities, unfamiliar and thus unapproachable. There is a sense of irony in this, being a gay man now a minority within his own minority. Yet, we expected this. Mike B. commented that now he knew why gay parents groups formed. Fellow bloggers 2 baby daddies commented on this somewhat when they "came out" on their decision to have children.

As much as I sometimes pine for my youth, those carefree days, my 29" waist, I look at my little girls, and I know their are worth it and then some. So life goes on...our family is happy, safe, full of love, and that's all I can ask. We're still the life of the party to our girls and that's all that really counts.

Finally, an aside, happy father's day to Daddy, and all the daddies, soon to be daddies, and trying to be daddies out there.